so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
