how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize