Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
