This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
