do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
