The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I bet he comes in French.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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