Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
