ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
