Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
