Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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