you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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