is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You can't special order awesome
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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