you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
