You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
