I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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