I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
