i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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