Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
