First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
