dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
