I just saw a hot homeless man
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
