she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize