Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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