I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
