I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize