theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
