Jerry, you need to find god
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
