Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
