Can Purell be used as lube?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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