ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I smell like Dick and happiness
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
