We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
