so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
