Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
