i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
