I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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