Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
