the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
