I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize