if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
