omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
