it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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