why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
