have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
