allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
