Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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