ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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