As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
