A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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