if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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