i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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