It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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