the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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