I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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