great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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