OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
