were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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