Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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