Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
