Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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