brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
