Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Houston, we have a squirter
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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