he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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