I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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