I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
