JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize
