you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
