I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize