Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
